please have faith in me :')

well... i know that it is obvious that im not the best daughter that my parents ever had...
but dear mum and dad...
please know that you guys are my everything..

i know sometimes i talk rudely to you..
please know that i didn't mean all the stupid things that i have said... i was too emotional sometimes..
i also know that sometimes i didn't play my role know that i'll do everything as the eldest as you wanted me to...
i don't know how to be your perfect daughter like you dreamed to have...
or.. maybe i know.. but i just don't want to take a chance on that...
sometimes we, the children, just do that you know... just wanna catch your attention actually..

BUT my dearest mum and dad...
please know that i'll do everything for you...

remember the time when you asked me to do some reading before i go play with my cousins?
I really don't want to... i wanna to go out and play with them so badly..
but when i saw your eyes...
half of me know that you are putting a very high hope on me...
( the other half of me was scared to see your furious face of cause... hehe :P )

ok2... more serious this time...

i still remember when you wanted to sent me to MJSC Kota Kinabalu.. a boarding school... one of the best school in Sabah.. a great school...
BUT... did u have any idea on how hard was it for me to leave St Paul..??
any idea on how was my feelings when i have to leave my best friend? Leaving my sporty life and walk into a nerdy life..??
i bet you don't....
all the thing that is important for you is my studies and my future is it..?
its a common things for parents to worried about these things right?
i am not blaming you guys for this... :) i do appreciate all these...

in my school... im not the best student...
i only manage to get 3.5 and above on the second semester of form 2...
2010-2011, i became the vice pres of student council..
i only represent my school in a few competitions like the robofair, maths carnival, basketball games and some other..

i just curious sometimes...
i was wondering did you really thinks its easy to get all these achievement ??
if it is... then maybe it is me that don't deserve to be your daughter..
cause... i need to tell you that it was not that easy for me... Really... i really tried my best to achieve all that..
and... did you know how much i hate to study??
yup... really hate it... i don't like to spend my time to study actually..
study?? no thanks... i prefer doing sports...
i guess you guys don't know this right...
never mind... i know you guys always know whats the best for me... and i trust you with all my heart..
you want me to study hard??? so be it.... i'll do anything for you...
i know its quite late until i realized that i have to take my study seriously...form 2 second semester..
i take 1 year and a half to do so... its that hard for me to change my attitude...
however... once i got 3.5 and above, really the moment that i don't wanna let go..
i was like >> FINALLY!! i got the chance to actually feel like i do belong in that school and half of me finally becoming your dream daughter..
YES... im proud of myself.. but nothing can make me more proud other than making you guys happy with my grades.. i enjoy to the the proud smile on your face... i'll do anything to see that smile...
so... i keep up with my study for the next 3 years and i try hard to focusing more on my study rather than my co-curriculum..

and this year... im going to turn 18... im studying at Taylor's uni with the scholarship that offered by Mara..
and my dearest....
you guys still don't have any faith on me?
am i that bad?
i understand that you were worried of my safety and all that just like the other parents....
but if even my parents didn't trust me... then who will??
i cried for the whole night when i know that you don't trust me..
but now i realized that crying is not gonna change anything...
i promised myself that i'll work hard to prove to you that im already grow up...
 i always be your lil girl..
but this lil girl can take care of herself already... ;)  you don't have to be that worry..
i'll prove it to you... :)
i promised to you that i'll make you proud..
i'll make it up for you..

anything for you mum and dad.. :)

REALITY :)

When I first heard about the community service that we have to conduct as our Islamic study project, I was very excited. I remember the last time I participated this kind of activity was on 2009. Before we conducted this project, our group first made a group discussion about the project. We decided to conduct this project at Raudatul Ikhwan. This place was a home for the girls aged 16 and below who have lost their parents or have family problem. I was egger to lend a helping hand to these girls.

Around 9 o’clock in the morning, we started our journey to this home. At the beginning of our journey, we already faced some difficulties. The night before we start our journey, we already made some research on the routes and the bus that we will take to get to go the place. However, we faced problem when the bus driver cheated on us. He didn’t drop us on the right place. We have to wait for another bus. It was a long journey before we get to the community house but when we arrived there, seeing the smile on their face, I know it worth it.

The first activity was the ice breaking session. I was so shock to hear that some of them were the form 3 student but they would not take the PMR exam. Besides, some of them already aged 16 years old but still didn’t have the confidence even just to introduce themselves. In my opinion, it is a bad thing. I was informed that they cannot stay in that community house forever. They have to move when they reached 17. I was wondering how are they going to survive in this challenging world if they can’t even speak for themselves. This makes me think how lucky am I to born in a loving family, to be educated since I was a child. I also realized the importance of gaining as much knowledge as we can to secure our future. For me, education is a way to improve ourselves. Nobody in this world can take knowledge from you.

Another thing that makes me appreciate what I have is when I see them having their lunch in a tray. They served us nicely but they, themselves, sharing their lunch in a tray while we were having our lunch in a plate. I was so touch to see how they are willing to sacrifice themselves just to give the priority to us as the guests in their house. I also felt a bit shame that it seems like they were the one who were conducting the community service. I always respect them as they were still applying the moral values in their daily life even if they were in the middle of hardship themselves. They act so differently compared to some rich people who is usually be so proud of themselves and their richness and they never portraying any moral values like respecting others, being polite and also being humble.  

The rest few hours we spend our time playing games with them and sharing our life experiences. We also spend some time teaching them mind maps. I enjoyed watching how excited were them learning mind maps. Besides, I am also happy that we were able to share some knowledge with these kids.

Overall, I am very satisfied with our project. I have learned a lot from this community service project. This project gave us the chance to see the other side of this world. From this project, now I know that not everyone in this world is as lucky as we are. Some of them do not have a place to call home, some of them even starving and crying for food, but us, who have all these things that they don’t, never really appreciate what we have. Sometimes we like to complaint everything that we have is not perfect, not enough or maybe not like what we have expected. From my point of view, this unsatisfied feeling isn’t wrong for us to have, but it is a must for us to appreciate what we have and be thankful to Allah for His Rahmat. Maybe we can use this “unsatisfied feelings” as the booster for us to improve ourselves to be a better person. Either we realize or not, we are actually surrounding by a lot of wonderful thing showing how much Allah love us. It is us that sometimes didn’t take a chance to actually see Allah’s bless for us. 

(have some problem transferring picture during this project. will upload it later)

wait a..... 

I don't know why but while writing this blog I remember of someone telling me that everything happens for a reason. 

This girl > Norfaezah Suhaimi <

 She really believe in this statement. As i go through with this life, i now know that its true. No matter what happened to us ( either it is a good thing or a bad one ) there's a reason for it to happened to us. Sis, i know that biologically, we are not related at all. But please know that for me you already like my big sis that i never had :) . You teach me that no matter how hard the world knock you down, you can always get up back and try harder to succeed. The choice is yours. Always been yours. Your are the only one that can decide. You have proved it Sis, really. I don't have to mentions all the things that you have been through right, you know it yourself. Just wanted you to know that you are really that amazing. Thanks to you, i learned to never give up on myself. I learned to believe that hope is always there when we really DO believe. And here I am, in Taylor's university, taking foundation in science, hoping to further my studies on MBBS (medicine for my degree) , dreaming to become a doctor. Thanks a lot, really. I always keep your words in my mind. Im writing this as an appreciation to you for always be there for me. And I wish all the best for you in your studies too. Hope someday we'll made it to open a clinic together a... hehehe.. :) 

RESPECT MAKES THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE

    two days ago, i went to PWTC for the book fair that held there. i was hoping to find some books for inorganic chemistry and cell biology with a reasonable price. But, the day ended up with disappointment. I can't even find any books related to my course.. So, i decided to go back to Subang and went for a movie at Sunway Pyramid.. together with some friends: Ervianna, Lyfiona, Daus, Nicklee and Noah..

   However.. that's not my main point to write today..

   So... actually.. to get to PWTC i have to get a bus to the KTM station. There i go.. from Subang Jaya to Putra by KTM...Going to Putra from Subang cost about RM4.10.. it's quite cheap actually.. this is probably because the train was one of the public transport that we have in Malaysia.. When it comes to public transport, we know that we share this service.. the thing is that some people just didn't show respect to others while sharing the public transport..

   Here's what i have experience.. From Subang there are about 11 stops before we reach Putra.. it takes about half an hour journey.. within the half an hour.. i experience some incident that makes me think a little bout how Malaysian culture has changed..
   
   At the third station, Kg Dato Harun, the train was already loaded with passengers.. this is when a Malay woman try to enter the train ( at the women-only coaches ).. trying to find some space.. me and my friends was trying hard to give her some space then.. unsatisfied with the little space we made.. she suddenly yelled at us..
 something like this : "wey! bagi la ruang sikit! huh... tak pandai fikir betul!" 
we were totally stunned to hear that from the nice looking malay woman... shocking of cause!! i really didn't see that coming... 

   is it really hard to be tolerant with others??

is it that hard to speak politely??

  is it t0o hard to understand others condition?? 

is it HARD to SHARE?

another incident happened at KL Sentral.. the destination for most of the passengers... i was trying to give some space for people to get out of the train.. as i trying to get away from the door.. i was just passing though the line ( the passengers lined up as they get out ) when (again) a Malay woman shouted at me :

"hei ! ape lalu-lalu depan orang ni.. BODOH betul!"

perghhhhh!!!! i was like: what?? she called me STUPID for passing the line which only takes less than 2 seconds?? did she just mad at me because i was blocking her way for LESS THAN 2 SECONDS?? what the...??  well.. i'm sorry mam.. i didn't know that 2 seconds is very very very important to you that you are willing to talk rudely to others for that two seconds..

again.. i was stunned.. 

   what actually happened to these people?

well i mean.. they sure seems nice..

maybe this is why there's a saying : 

"DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER"

we are living in the same community.. why can't we respect each other?

I see Malaysians making more and more disrespectful statements and even actions day to day. As if they never learned history and can't even think rationally...

Malaysia tidak akan terus maju dengan adanya orang-orang macam tu... Orang luar

 pula akan mula pandang rendah dengan rakyat kita.. sesama kita pun maw tembirang-tembirang... apalah juga.. ko naik ktm..sy naik ktm.. mengaku ja la sama-sama bukan orang senang... nda payahlah maw hina-hina... lebih kurang ja tambang kita bayar.. Next time, kalau maw selesa sangat.. naik la teksi... kalau naik public transport tu faham-faham la... toleransi sikit sama orang ok?? kalau tidak selesa pun boleh cakap baik-baik kan?? bukan susah... orang pun senang hati maw bagi kerjasama..

hehe.. terBM sudah...

as for the conclusion,

i simply hate people who just don't know how to respect others..

i hope me, myself wouldn't turn out to be that kind of person... 

in order to make Malaysia a better place.. I need to start with myself.. Being the best citizen ever.. :)

hope the same goes for you..

MAKAN MALAM PERDANA 2011

hmm.. ttba teringat sal stu event d maktab yg mustahil bdak maktab maw lupa... hehe

that night..
    all the girls look hot n cute in their dresses..
the boys was so macho ( and adorable to0 ) ...

everyone was in their best look : students (of coz) , teachers . staffs

i was hoping that moment will last forever..
the moment of fame and glamorous ..
there was no worries and stress..
only cheer and happy faces shown that night..
its like i'm on a different world..
where i have nothing to worry..
just having s0me (very) enj0ying moment with my friends 
although SPM was just aroud the corner that time..
the moment was just to0 valuable to be neglected..
it was the night when everyone is star.. a shining star.. :)
really miss that moment.. :')

FORMAL DINNER 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012

we all hv been through a lot on 2011..so much unforgettable memories!
forgive me for all my mistake tht i'hv done on 2011 n just let me makes some new ones for 2012.. hehehe...

hoping 2012 will be a better year than last year.. :)
so, im going to start this 2012 with a NEW spirit, NEW clothes, NEW friends and...

NEW SCHOOL a.k.a. UNIVERSITY !!

yay!! MARA gave me the chance to study at TAYLOR's UNI for the SPC programme.. thanks god..alhamdllah... i can't believe it for the first tym actually coz i think i'hv spoiled my interview ( which i had on 17 December 2011 ) but im very glad i got it... i'll do my very best!! :)  im taking medical course n hopefully i got stand the STRESs!! also hope that i'll stand a chance to further my study overseas after finish my foundation there.. PRAY for ME... hehehe...

can't wait.. :)

well..for all of my junior at MJSC Koki... especially the form five student..
gudluck on ur study okay!!

never give up no matter how hard life try to knock u down!!
hope is always there when u believe.. :) trust me guys..
  
spent ur tym wisely.. u do deserve to have fun, but u just hv to know the limits..
PLAY HARD. STUDY HARD TOO.. 
after spm puas jga kmu main nanti.. so, bwa2 la bsabar k... :)

U ONLY DESERVE THE BEST IF AND ONLY IF U DID UR BEST... 

tiada yang sia-sia, setiap usaha kita pasti akan ada hasilnya..

JUST REMEMBER, GOD IS FAIR.. U'LL GET WHAT U DESERVE.. SLOWLY BUT SURELY.. :)

 always remember ur family is counting on u..
   
try ikut jejek rakan2 yg cemerlang..kalau dorang bole knapa kta tdak kan?? 
jan asyik bagi alasan

"alaa... dia senanglaa... memang bdak pandai... aku ni apala juga kan.. stakat pointer cukup2 makan ja..."   

PLIZ LAA.. me pling x ska alasan tu... bkan apa.. tpi fikir laa... kta suma start dari tahap yg sama... yg membezakan kta actually bkan kepandaian... tpi usaha n semangat juang kita.. sebanyak mana seseorang itu sanggup korbankan masa & tenaga dia for something that he wanted.. really..

hidup ini macam roda kan... kejap kita di atas kejap kita di bawah.. 

macam juga tym kita kecil2 dulu~

tym bayi.. dari x tahu nak berjalan.. kita mula dengan merangkak... then dah puas merangkak kita akan cuba berdiri... dah dapat berdiri kita try pula nak berjalan.. bila dah pandai berjalan nak advance lagi.. dah start berlari2 n melompat2 dah.. ada pula diselitkan beberapa kegagalan di mana kita terjatuh semasa cuba berjalan, tersungkur semasa berlari, tercedera slapas melompat.. 

Persoalannya.. do we care enough to stand back..?? or kita just mengalah n hanya terbaring di sana?? the choice is yours.. u decide it..

each one of us is a winner...

since we were a sperm.. only one winner of the marathon will diffuse with the ovum at the fallopian tubes.. and that's us!!

all we have to do is keep winning ! !

u r more than u think u r.. im serious...  :) 
chea..hehe.. maw nasihat2 pla.. sorry2.. just want to share.. all the best at MJSC Koki.. grab all the opportunities there.. 

MJSC KOTA KINABALU.. 

WHERE IT ALL STARTED.. 

for me at least.. xD 

miss u all.. :')

 

SAYANG KINABALU !!

MISSION ACCOMPLISH!!

GUNUNG KINABALU TELAH PUN DITAWAN ! !

On 24 December 2011, the members of MJSC KoKi's stdent representative council (except 4 aisyah amin) have manage t0 conqour the Low's Peak !!! with the lowest temperature record ( O dgree clcius ) , it is almost impossibles to get to the top! even the guide didnt wnt to take us there, thnk god we hv the most amazing teacher in the world, SIR HAQ !! with his encouragement, all 13 of us did it!! including Sunardi Sutarman.. he is big, sure is heavy but with the determination n spirit of a fighter... he climbed to the summit of Mt.Kinabalu at a record time and the worst possible weather..
 so proud of him.. :) cutest president of LDP.. hehe 

BEST MEMORIES :)

B4 HIKING ( a.k.a sebelum penat.. ahaha)

Add caption

mamam after dri puncak

stop berehat tym mw naik p laban rata

restoran d laban rata

malam b4 hiking

dpan blik amier.. hehe

dkt puncak daa ni..... hehe (laban rata)

C0NGRATEZ my ohana!! :) 

Dauz Black

Sunardi Sutarman

Gregory Noah

Akmal Fuad

Amier Adzha Adnan

Carlil Hasnan

Dhirar Danial

Farhan Amran

Adli Faisal Hazim  

Baxter Yong

Alvyela Anthony

Chynta Melor

SPM ALERT !

     

     Dear SPM...


            i know tht u would not back off...i hv to face u on 14 November.. i'll be ready then (hopefully)..
but.. i beg u... pliz dnt be so harsh on me.. im jst an beginner.. be nice pliz.. xD

wish me luck.. ;)